On our vows from 8 months ago...

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Today marks 8 months of marriage to Jonathan. We have come so far and learned so much in the past 8 months, and I truly believe that with all that has been put on our plate this year, we will make it to forever, since we've made it thusfar. The road hasn't been the most easily travelled, it hasn't been without its rocks and potholes, but we still love each other, and in the next 5 weeks or so, we'll have renewed love for each other, because we'll have our daughter, a living breathing symbol of that love we share.

I'll be honest, when Jonathan and I got married, I didn't think much would change since we'd already been cohabitating for two years. I couldn't have been more wrong. First of all, that "in sickness and health" part of the vows? Well, it's a lot easier to take care of someone who is sick when it's because you truly care and you want them to feel better, versus because you have to. At some point, probably after the third 6 hour ordeal at the Obstetrics Emergency Room, Jonathan lost a bit of patience, and now questions me prior to bringing me... Like I'm the boy who cried wolf. I get where he's coming from, but just because the doctors sent me home last time doesn't mean there was nothing wrong, and it doesn't make my pain any less valid or real. It's not like Jonathan has never seen me sick. I'd been hospitalized for severe acid reflux (GERD) in the summer of 2010, and he had taken me to the emergency room for various illnesses in the two years we'd been together prior to marriage. However, when it crosses the line from something you're doing because you want to, to something you're doing because it's your job or duty, it does make it harder to drop everything and go.

When one partner is partially incapacitated from illness (unable to lift things, or bend for example), the other partner picks up the slack, and that can cause resentment if not handled properly. I've learned to be thankful for everything Jonathan has done for me. I try to remember to verbalize the "thank you" and in doing so, I commit to myself that he has done something wonderful for me, and that makes me feel better about things. I honestly don't know how single mothers can do all this alone, and I have a great respect for those who do, because I know I'd be lost without Jonathan.

As for the "for richer or poorer" part of the vows. Jonathan was laid off in the beginning of December. I haven't had a full time job that's lasted more than a month since June. We're feeling a strain financially, but in no way do I feel poor. Jonathan being laid off was a blessing, because he has been home this past month as I have suffered incredible illness, and he has taken care of me. He is the greatest treasure, and we are rich in love for each other.

I am so excited to see what the rest of our first year of marriage brings!

I love you Jonathan! Here's to our last few weeks as a family of 2.